I've been fixated on the size of my penis for pretty much my whole life. It all began back in elementary school when my cousins showed me porn. I used to watch videos non-stop every night, which, looking back, set me up for years of feeling insecure.
As a kid, I had no clue that comparing myself to those adult film stars would mess with my head so much—it created this deep-seated issue with my body image that ended up controlling my confidence, my relationships, and how I felt about myself for over 20 years.
By the time I got to high school, my body image issues were worse than ever. While my friends were starting to date and have their first relationships, I was actively avoiding even the possibility. The idea of being judged because of my size was paralyzing.
Whenever I pictured being intimate with a girl, I'd automatically imagine her being disappointed, hearing people talk about me behind my back, and that soul-crushing feeling that I just wasn't good enough. Because of this, I kept to myself. I turned down chances to get close to people, positive that I'd only end up being rejected.
A Lifetime of Comparison
As I was growing up, I fell into the habit of constantly measuring myself against other guys. Whether it was in locker rooms, public showers, or even through anonymous interactions on dating apps, I was always on the lookout for some kind of affirmation, or perhaps, confirmation that I just wasn't good enough.
I'd secretly sneak peeks, comparing myself to every man I encountered. I even swapped photos with complete strangers, not because I found them attractive, but because I was desperate to gauge where I ranked. Still, it never felt like I measured up.
A pivotal moment that really cemented my insecurities happened back in fifth grade. My dad, exasperated by my constant toilet misses, made me watch him pee. For what felt like an eternity, two or three excruciating minutes, I stood there, glued to the spot, unable to tear my eyes away, absorbing the painful truth: my own father was way bigger than me. It was devastating.
Before then, I'd been clinging to the idea that it was just genetics, that my smaller size was simply in my genes. But that experience shattered that illusion, leaving me with the stark realization that it was just how things were meant to be. My self-hatred intensified after that.
Struggling with Confidence and Sexuality
My insecurities pushed me in a strange direction – I ended up looking for approval by dating men. I wasn't really attracted to them like I was to women, but it felt less scary to be judged.
From 17 to 21, I had relationships with dominant, confident guys – guys with the kind of size and self-assurance I wished I had.
But no matter how many times I did it, I never felt like I got the validation I craved. I still felt like I wasn't good enough. I still felt insignificant.
Discovering PE: A Glimmer of Hope
When I was 16, I was first introduced to the idea of penis enlargement (PE). However, everything I found suggested it was impossible without surgery, which, as a teenager with no money, wasn't a viable option. Despite that, I wasn't ready to give up. I spent hours on forums, devoured articles, and soaked up every piece of information I could get my hands on. But, I couldn't bring myself to take any real action.
Then, in 2023, I finally subscribed to the Penis Professor program, dead set on transforming my life. But again, I failed to follow through. I wasn't ready to embrace it as a lifestyle change, and I lacked the privacy needed to fully commit. Instead, I remained on the sidelines in PE communities, watching others achieve their goals while I stayed trapped in my own insecurities.
The Turning Point
Sure, I still have my insecurities, but they don't run my life anymore. I've grown up a lot. I get it now—size isn't the be-all and end-all. But that doesn't mean I don't want to get better.
I want to have a family someday. I want to feel sure I can satisfy my partner. And I want to do whatever I can to shake off those doubts that have been following me around for years.
So, I'm finally giving PE a try. It's not because I'm desperate, it's because I want to improve myself.
My Goals and Plan
Okay, here's a more human-like take on your text, keeping the same language and meaning:
So, I'm currently at a base of 6.625 inches in length and 4.5 inches in circumference. My immediate target is straightforward: within a year, I aim to gain at least half an inch, whether it's in length or girth. It's crucial for me to see that this actually works.
My medium-term objective is to hit 7.25 inches by 5.25 inches before I settle into a serious relationship. As for my long-term goal, well, that will depend on my future wife's preferences, but realistically, I can't see myself exceeding 8.25 inches by 6.25 inches.
For the time being, I'm focusing solely on manual exercises. I want to get into a solid routine before I think about using devices, supplements, or any other advanced methods. My main worry right now is measuring accurately.
My stats seem to indicate I'm at least average, but when I look down, I feel like I'm smaller. I've remeasured countless times, and the numbers don't change. If anyone has any wisdom to share on this, I'm definitely interested in hearing it.
Moving Forward
I'm not sure where this road will take me, but I'm prepared to take that initial leap. I'm open to any guidance, critiques, or wisdom you might have. None of it will offend me.
My goal is to approach this in the best possible way, to ensure that after all these years, my hard work will finally bear fruit.
For the first time ever, I'm ready to make a real change. Let's see where this journey will guide me.